Paramore- Renegade

The grass wasn't green enough here

After watering it with my tears

I'm not sure where you went

Now we are, just past tense

The snakes, they are slithering in

Chasing me to my end

I can't say where that is

I'm running again

And, when I get there

It won't be far enough

I'm a renegade

It's in my blood

If ever I get there

It won't be fast enough

I'm a renegade

I always was

And, your spark never lit up a fire

Though I tried and tried and tried

The wind came through your lungs

A hurricane from your tongue

I'll keep your secrets with me

Right behind my teeth

Your anger, your anchor

But I'll sail much further on

Ah, ah, on

And, when I get there

it won't be far enough

I'm a renegade

It's in my blood

If ever I get there

It won't be fast enough

I'm a renegade

I always was

I'll keep running

I'll keep running again

keep running

I'll keep running

running, running

Keep running, running

running

Oh, when I get there

it won't be far enough

I'm a renegade

It's in my blood

If ever I get there

It won't be fast enough

I'm a renegade

It's in my blood

I'm a renegade

I always was

Metamorphosis

We all have learned how a caterpillar turns into a butterfly, right? We know that it undergoes through a lot before it becomes that beautiful.

Change. That's it. That's what's running through my mind right now. I've looked through my old pictures in my Facebook account and I've noticed how I've changed and how much the people around me have changed. For me, my personality went through a lot of phases before I become the present me. Maybe that's because of what I've gone through. My goals and dreams changes. My outlook in life changes. I went from fat to thin. I've tried being emo, girlish, boyish and now back to my preppy, childish looks. Now I have braces. I think more mature but my stubbornness has come worse. I've become more social and I've lost some of my real friends. There are even times that I don't know who I'm going with at lunch time because I have no permanent friends. My laziness has become worse. My close friends tell me I've become more controlled with my mouth but others tell me that I complain too much. Haha. I don't understand them. My ** tells me that now, I have become more expressive with my feelings and I've become more affectionate. I've changed a lot. I could tell. I fell in love and fell out of love. I wanted some change with my relationship I just had that feeling that I could find someone better or maybe I'm just too young for love and that I'm bored with my relationship but we made it through.

Now with the people a round me... I have met new people and lost some of my close friends. I think what comes with the personality change is the change of your preferences on who to be with. I've also seen many people fall in love and fall out of love. And I know why they had that. Just for a change. Some people have grown up. some have grown taller, some became more ladylike, and some just grown more beautiful. Looks like I'm not the only one going through lots of changes.

And as for a conclusion. EVERYTHING CHANGES. Changes are brought about by the things that happen to a person. May it be physical, mental, social or spiritual. In every aspect of our lives, we should expect change. . Sometimes change can help us to fit in, sometimes stand out. Change can result in good things and bad. Let's embrace the good ones, ignore that bad ones. 

Life's Full of Surprises, I say

January 26, 2012

Wala lang. Isang araw na puno ng katatawanan, kahihiyan at katangahan. Just wanna tell you things about the day. 'twas a very windy day I say. During snack time, I just ate the yummiest custard cake I have ever tasted. And in the last period, something weird happened with the weather. It was sunny and windy and rainy at the same time. I usually hear people say that if it's windy and sunny, it's not gonna rain. Well, surprise, surprise! omnomnomnomnom.

In the afternoon, everything turned upside down. I was from the library and I was going to my classroom, when the wind decided to play games with me. To get to my classroom, I need to pass through the quadrangle which is in the center of the school grounds, so that means the people on the corridors could see you below. So yeah, here's what happened. The wind blew hard that it also blew my skirt up(imagine the PH Care commercial) I've tried to pull it down by holding the front part but the wind wasn't contented, it blew through the back part of my skirt. So yeah, my friend behind me saw my undershorts and some other students saw what happened to me at the quadrangle. XD Well, let's go on. The first period was the History class, it was the day two of checking test papers. Think of it, we send a lot of periods just to check three annoying test papers. It's because of our overly annoying teacher who always argues with our answers even though we're right. I dunno, she just wants to mess up our day. She used the whole period debating with the smart people in our class to prove who's right. One of our classmates cried because of her endless interrogation, you know. So stupid. Then on the second period was Chemistry. Oh, guess what happened. We had a surprise special exams because the teacher said that we all have failing marks on the periodical tests. cool. Haven't even reviewed yet. And on the fourth period, again, surprise, surprise! There was a poster making contest for all the clubs. I was one of the representatives of my club and I dunno what to do! I didn't even have coloring materials for the contest. Good thing, the club president's so supportive. She prepared all the things we needed! So much for that. The school's over for the day and me and my friends got home. Laughter filled the cab we rode on. We couldn't stop laughing. We don't even know the reasons why we laughed so hard. Aah, friendships. So that's how my day ended.

Amfuchsiang Araw.

Sa araw ng kahihiyan.

Haha! Ngayon lang ako nakapag-isip na magsulat dito. Pagod kasi minsan eh. I’m gonna share what happened last October 28, 2011. Eh, sumali ako ng UN Costume Parade/Pageant thingy sa school namen. Greece ung pinili kong irepresent. Ok lang naman yung costume ko. Maganda raw sabi nila. Eh dapat lang naman! Ang effort ko kaya pgdesign nun. Haha! 45+ participants yung sumali kaya hindi na’ko nag-expect na makakapasok pa ako sa Top 10. Ang grades para sa Araling Panlipunan lang naman ang hinabol ko dun kaya ako sumali.

Pero, ayun. Doon nagsimula ang kahihiyan nung natawag yung pangalan ko. Kasama raw ako sa top 10. Eh, ang masaklap, yung top 10 ay sasabak sa madugong question and answer portion. Nahihiya pa naman akong magsalita sa harap ng maraming tao, konti rin lang ung background ko tungkol sa UN dahil nga hindi na’ko nag-expect na makapasok.. So, ayun. Kinabahan na’ko. At ganun nga ang nangyari. Napahiya ako ng bonggang-bongga. Ang gaganda ng mga sagot nung iba, at ako ang last na tinanong. Pero nalaman ko na kung ano yung question ko, may listahan kasi ng mga tanong yung taong nagpabunot ng pangalan kung sino raw judge yung magtatanong saken. Ang question ko sana ay “It’s writren all over the headlines that the the government is having a conflict against the Muslims. The government is planning to have an all out war against them, what can you say about it?” Ay basta, parang ganun yung question. Eh ako naman, readyng ready na saking sagot. Na shock na lang akong bigla nang ang itinanong saken ay “Today, we are celebrating St. Jude Thaddeus’ fest day. St. Jude was known to be the Patron of the Desperate. St. Jude was also known to be the enemies of the powerful men in his country….blah…blah…blahh.” basta ang haba ng sinabi niya at hindi ko alam kung saan yung tanong doon. Eh, teka, diba UN month ang ipinagdiriwang? Ba’t ganun yung tanong niya? Ayun, kahihiyan to the max nung sinagot ko yung tanong. Di ko rin naintindihan yung tanong eh. Nagsisi ako, sana sinabihan ko yung judge na, “Excuse me ma’am, I think we’re talking about UN here and I think you’re question is far out. Thank You!” haha! Pero wala eh. Nalunod lang siguro ako sa kaba nun. Takot kaya ako sa mga tao. haha! At simula dun, napahiya na ako sa harap ng maraming tao sa paaralan. At hindi pa rin ako nakakarecover sa kahihiyang yun. First time ko kasing makasali ng contest na ganun eh. Argh! Bsta yun na yun. amfuchsia ‘diba? Lesson learned na nman. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED. The End.

MONSTER

You were my conscience
so solid now you're like water
We started drowning
not like we'd sink any further
But I let my heart go
it's somewhere down at the bottom
But I'll get a new one.
come back for the hope that you've stolen

I'll stop the whole world
I'll stop the whole world
from turning into a monster, and eating us alive
Don't you ever wonder how we'd survive?
But now that you're gone the world is ours

I'm only human
I've got a skeleton in me
But I'm not the villain
despite what you're always preaching
Call me a traitor
I'm just collecting your victims
They're getting stronger,
I hear them calling

I'll stop the whole world
I'll stop the whole world
from turning into a monster, and eating us alive
Don't you ever wonder how we'd survive?
But now that you're gone the world is ours

Well you found us strength and solutions but I liked the tension
And not always knowing the answers when you're gonna lose it, you're gonna lose it.

I'll stop the whole world
I'll stop the whole world
from turning into a monster, and eating us alive
Don't you ever wonder how we'd survive?
But now that you're gone the world is ours

I'll stop the whole world
I'll stop the whole world
from turning into a monster, and eating us alive
Don't you ever wonder how we'd survive?
But now that you're gone the world is ours

IGNORANCE is yerr new BEAST FRIEND!

We people are so judgmental that sometimes, we blab things about someone even though we don't know if it's true or not. We just tell 'em so that we could say to ourselves that we are better than them. We're insecure or maybe we're ignorant. We see something weird/unusual/awkward about them then BAAAM, we say they're bad or something.

I AM...

I'm so sick and tired.I'm tired of living up to people's expectations. I'm tired of being a puppet. I'm tired of being good. I'm tired of hearing your complaints about my wild behavior. I'm tired of learning. I'm tired of studying.  I'm tired of seeing the same people everyday. I am tired of the same people who ignores me. I'm tired of the same people I see who are mad at me. I AM JUST TIRED OF EVERYTHING.



I want to break free in my own cage. I'm human. I'm not perfect. I'm not a doll to be dressed up and pampered. I have my own voice that needs to be heard. I have my own thoughts to be expressed. I live for my own. I have my own hopes and dreams. I was not born to satisfy your expectations. I  was born to stand out in my own way. I know that there are rules but I know my own limits. 


You may say that I'm a rebel, that I am a weed of the society, or that I am just too self-centered. I just want my voice to be heard. I don't want to be known as the little-miss-goody-two-shoes. I know, this is immature, but this is who I AM...so don't effing tell me what to do. Right now, I just want to disappear and want to make my own crazy little world.